-----Original Message-----

From: Jack Barker [mailto:JackBarker@mn.rr.com]
Sent: Thursday, December 04, 2003 11:48 PM
Subject: ROTK Review--spoiler free

Hi gang,

I just this moment walked back in the door from seeing "The Return of the King," and I won't be able to get to sleep unless I write down something about the experience first.

A bit of background: as some of you may or may not know, Lord of the Rings producer Barrie Osbourne is a MN native and graduate of Carleton College here in the Twin Cities. Each of the past three years, before the movies have opened nationwide, he has arranged for there to be a special fundraising showing to benefit the college. I didn't attend the past two years, mainly because the Carleton showing was only a couple of days before the nationwide opening, and because I had plans already in place to see it at a midnight show in Madison. This year, I noticed in the onering.net newsletter that the Carleton showing was going to be on December 4th, nearly two weeks before opening day! That got my Geek blood up, and since the was the last chance (unless they make a film of The Hobbit or The Silmarillion, I suppose), I decided to just Go For It, and got tickets for myself and my friend Mike. Best $75 (each) I ever spent!

So, I got to the theater a couple hours early today, got my tickets, and saved a place in line for myself and Mike. There was some live entertainment provided… ok, it was really just a drunk and/or high guy who was there for a different movie and rather disrupted the line, only to be grabbed and dragged off by security. Mike arrived about 45 minutes later (one advantage to my boss being in California is that I can occasionally sneak out of the office early for things like this <g>), and we were let into the theater about 5:30. At about 6:00, the show got started with some trivia questions from the company that does the official LOTR trivia game (the same ones who were at ConVergence this year). I only raised my hand once, but had a brain fart and answered "Glimmermere" instead of "Mirrormere." This is why I will never be a winning contestant on Jeapordy! I like to think I redeemed myself by correcting the quiz-guy's pronunciation of "Cirith Ungol," tho. At about 6:20, the president of Carleton College introduced Barrie Osbourne himself, who made a very brief statement, welcoming everyone to "the end of all things," (which got a chuckle) and talking about how "in this time of uncertainty, it's important to have a liberal arts education," and "Carleton shares the same values of the movie makers," etc. etc. He kept it short, that was the important thing.

Without further ado or even previews, the movie began. Those who've heard me rant about my dislike of The Two Towers will remember that I qualified my disappointment by saying that at least they seemed to have gotten back to a point by the end of that movie where they might be back on track for the third. And they are definitely back on track. Oh my god. I don't want to spoil anything for anyone, so I won't get into specifics, except to say that at a certain moment towards the middle of the film (and those who've heard me talk about what my favorite scene in the book is may guess what moment I mean), my eyes just welled up and on came the waterworks. And as the rest of the movie went on, it seemed like each time I thought they'd dry up, there's be something else that would start 'em up again. There've been only a few times in my life when I've literally wept tears of joy, and although it may sound like a load of crap, this was one of 'em. And for me, anyway, it conjured up memories of the first time I finished reading the book (when I was fifteen, probably before a lot of people reading this were born!) and the emotional impact it had on me then. There are scenes in this film that are so amazingly spot-on from the book that it was like the words I've read so many times had literally come to life. Cripes, I'm tearing up again now just thinking about it again.

When the closing credits began to roll, Mike leaned over and said something to me, but I told him that I was sorry, but I still needed a few minutes to compose myself. Folks, this movie is remarkable. It's not perfect--there are still a few "what the hell moments" and a couple of places where the missing scenes are pretty glaring. But these are niggling little details that don't really diminish the film one bit.

Anyway, to finish my story, after the credits were done and I'd mopped up my face a bit, Mike and I left the theater and found the local news team outside doing interviews, so being the shy retiring fellow I am, I naturally found myself being interviewed. I wasn't "in costume," but I did wear my "Bilbo Vest." I gave 'em what I thought was a pretty good spoiler-free sound bite, so we'll see if it's on the morning news tomorrow. Or possibly the afternoon or evening news. I'll set my VCR, and if I catch it, you can bet it will shortly be available for viewing on ringgame.net.

There was a reception afterwards at the Borders Bookstore by the theater, so we went to that to see if we could catch a glimpse of Barrie Osbourne. We had just about given up and were about to leave when we saw him coming into the store escorted by the expected "handler." So I angled around to get in position (he was talking with some chucklehead who actually had the lack of class to ask him to autograph a video), and when the chucklehead had been adroitly blown off by the handler, I jumped in just quickly enough to shake his hand and say "thank you for a magnificent film."

Not much more to add--there was a bit of a snafu at the parking garage because some yahoo had lost his ticket and was refusing to pay the "lost ticket" charge, and it was lightly snowing when I finally got out. And then I came home, and then I started writing this.

The thing that really kills me now, though, is that I have to wait thirteen days to see it again! Augh!

Best wishes to all, --Jack A. Barker